Sabotage??

I've finally come to the conclusion that my lab is under attack.  Though our research, experiments, and the entire facililty for that matter take tremendous efforts towards maintaining a high level of security, we must have been infiltrated.  There is just too much evidence mounted against coincidence.  Here are some of the many "solid" evidences:
Exhibit A (This sounds familiar)- The doors continue to be uncooperative.
Exhibit B - Sneezes occur at the least convenient time, contaminating the data and potentially destroying the experiment.
Exhibit C- Nobody needs to go to the bathroom until the part of the experiment that is time sensitive.
Exhibit D- Experiments are running all by themselves (Nobody claims to have started the machine though it was set up, almost completely right)
Exhibit E- Acrylamide gels have become kamikaze,  throwing themselves to the bottom of the sink and working their way down the drain thwarting all attempts to complete experimentation.
Exhibit F- There has been a long gigantic quiet in the world of scientific conspiracies for some time (in other words, its about time one surfaced).

This having been said, everything is a conspiracy..... but seriously we have had some strange mishaps in the lab.  If you want more details, you'll have to ask.  Most of the stories are actually quite hysterical.  Funny....but wrong......(or not).  Good night!!